Somewhere in my neighbourhood, a person with really bad music taste is blasting dance music like it's 12am at a packed club. Also, a bunch of rambunctious youths are screaming out their conversations at the playground under my block.

I stay on the freaking 11th floor and it's currently 5.30pm. COME ON PEOPLE. COME ON.

SAD

I think I just found my limit for gore.

Splattering guts and innards? Okay. Severed limbs? Okay. Rotting flesh? Also okay. I mean if you ate all of the above I'm okay with it too. BUT when you eat a bleeding heart with crunchy sound effects that sound like you're munching on celery sticks...well...nice to meet you too, limit.

Thanks ah Supernatural S8.

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Ab: Shall we meet for awhile anyway?
Me: Can la but I thought it's J's birthday party?
Ab: Will you come though? Hahaha
Me: You already put hahaha at the back. You know I don't like parties.
Ab: I know you don't so how.

I suck at socializing with a capital S. Coupled with the fact that meeting new people/hanging out with people I'm not familiar intimidates me a lot more than I'd like to admit.

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My audit lecturer slipped us a piece of local media gossip during lecture. Apparently, 曹国辉 might have had an illegitimate child somewhere.

Me: I always thought that he might have been a closet gay.
Hui: No la! He used to date 郑秀珍 what.
Me: 郑秀珍? Who's that?
Hui: The one that has her own business now?
Me: Oh you mean 何仙姑?
Hui: Bahahahaha you know you just revealed your age right.

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Warning: Depressing to read.

Feeling extremely moody nowadays. Not sure if it's PMS or what but I tend to throw a pity party for myself whenever I'm alone. Not necessarily alone-alone but when I'm disconnected from my surroundings enough to have my moping ability take over and pwn me. I make a list of all the things I dislike about myself, then a list of  how I could change those things I dislike, followed by moping over why I haven't been able to do my best to change stuff I don't like. Go on the internet, look at stuff that makes me feel worse about myself, and then repeat the moping process all over again. And again and again and again.

I feel like talking to someone about it would probably make me feel better but when I'm in moping mode I don't think anyone would give two hoots about my problems anyway, so I don't. And for the other times outside of moping, I simply forget that I just spent most of my day sulking and worrying and feeling sad. Also, I try to minimize human interaction whenever I'm in a funk cause I don't want to get agitated when I don't receive the response I want. And to reduce the snarky level of my replies.

I've contemplated with the idea of writing it down here for a few days but debated against it because I don't like to talk about sad stuff because talking about it and thinking about it only perpetuates it more. Also it's depressing to read. But I'm almost at my limit and venting to inanimate object eliminates the chance of getting aggravated by less than ideal replies so...there. A whole bunch of word vomit about how depressed and sad and moody I've been feeling for no particular reason but the fact that I am throwing myself daily pity parties. Why can't this party be the kind that I am intimidated by and reject to attend?

When are you ever ever going to give your fullest effort in getting what you want in order to make you happy and not convince yourself that mediocrity is equally as satisfying and that you'll never be able to get what you want anyway? You want it, you have to work for it. And moping about it for almost a week now isn't going to get you nowhere but straight to sadness and more sadness and just more moodiness.

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Okay, writing about it really helped. Wonder why I've debated against it in the first place.

Also the blackstone's statutes book for LBO has a ridiculous waiting time. 4 to 6 weeks? Come on. Do you need me to help water that tree you are growing?

Snarky snarky someone's snarky.

SHOWS

I've accumulated a list of ongoing dramas that I am currently on a stake out on.

1) Bones S8
2) Criminal Minds S8
3) HIMYM S8
4) Modern Family S4
5) Castle S5
6) Dexter S7
7) Supernatural S8
8) The Walking Dead S3
9) The Mentalist S5
10) ...Haven't thought of what would complete my top 10 list but I'm thinking of  Sherlock. Or Sons of Anarchy.

Somewhere out there I can hear bel going "You know this is not something to be proud of right".

Come on! These are really good shows!

Anyway, my...ability to lose stuff even with me being on top of it 100% has died down for quite awhile until it decided to act up again recently. I lost my ez link card last week and I lost my watsons card this week. I pray extremely hard to my sub-consciousness that I don't lose anything else because I don't think I have anything else to misplace that is easily (albeit very heartbreaking) replaceable.

Pleasepleasepleasepleaseplease.

ALIVE

Guess who got to see Taeyang topless and twerking on stage?

ME ME ME ME ME!!! Hahaha. Went for Big Bang's Alive something Samsung something concert last Friday. No idea what the concert was actually called but the bff and I were super super super stoked in the months building up to concert day. STOKED!!!!!

We bought tickets for the standing pen aka mosh pit, which means we were super close to the stage. So close, I could see Taeyang's sweat glistening his perfect abs when he took off his shirt. Fo' real. The whole concert was so so so so freaking awesome la!! I really don't know how to describe it detail because all I could remember was me dancing/fist pumping, thoroughly enjoying myself, and then occasionally having those "is this really happening right now?" moments when I look around and try to sear everything into my mind.

Awesome. So much awesome that night.

And for anyone out there who's wondering how being in a standing pen/mosh pit feels like, lemme break it down for you. It's just a lot of sweat, hair, boobs, and ass all around. Plus lots of awkward eye contact with 15 year old fan girls. Hahaha.

There was a slightly embarrassing moment though. Halfway through the concert I caught myself in someone's camera screen and I thought it was ger trying to take a photo of us, so I smiled and the person captured the photo. Well... That was until I realise that the person had accidentally pressed the front camera button.

So I guess someone out there has a photo of me smiling in their phone. Good job to me.

Okay enough rambling photo time!

YAY!!!!!!!!!