Laugh

Was trawling through salad recipes cause I got bored with just butterhead lettuce + cherry tomatoes + soy sauce and tomato sauce dressing.

Really boring I know.

But back to topic, I came across the funniest thing that made me laughed out loud literally. Hahaha. One of the comments about the salad.

maggie March 13, 2010
YUMMY looking soft serve!
how do you think chocolate superfood (amazing grass) would taste in place of the cocoa???
i did that in Kristen’s CCB smoothie and it was amazing!

Hahahaha.

xxx

Slight

Sakae sushi to celebrate my belated 19th with the boys. Wanted dim sum but pres could only make it around evening time. So.....sakae it is! Was craving for the fried tofu+sweet sauce thing anyway.

Super embarrassing thing that occurred (to me, who else can it happen to) at sakae. Wanted to use the computer to order for the tofu thing. I spent approximately 10 seconds trying to order food touch-screen style. *finger point point touch touch*

Until I spot the mouse sitting atop the box holding the chopsticks.

Sweet.

So major embarrassment aside, after we finished dinner, we went Tamp1 to walk off the sushi. Went into Times bookstore and my hatred for frogs was reaffirmed. I FUCKING HATE FROGS. Knn the toy version of it was so realistic looking!!! Crazy. And bel thought it was funny to suddenly place his hand on my shoulder. My heart literally dropped into my sushi-filled stomach because I thought that he was placing that stupid toy frog on me. Argh no amount of reiteration can echo how much I. Hate. Frogs.

Bought starbucks and went back to bel's place to rot.
1) Talk talk talk talk
2) Laugh laugh laugh
3) Lifted weights
4) Read the new Ikea catalogue
5) Bel's loser dance
6) My lack of arm muscles
7) Attempted to carry zack and pres
8) Watermelons. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

We all knocked out soon after and we would have continued sleeping through the night till god knows what time the next day if not for me waking up at 3.45am. Waking up bel is a ton of work so pres walked me home instead.

And so I will be starting school tomorrow.

Hello I am Meishan. Want some gum?

Want some gum??

GUM??????????

Anticipation

Told myself that I'll convert my sleeping habits back to normal by this week. As in sleep before 12am. So far, not succeeding. Friday saturday sunday monday.

Monday and I'll finally start school. Like after so long of living in my comfort zone and significantly decreasing my contact with people, I have to face the fear of exposing myself to different people. Which really isn't a problem to me until a random conversation with T. Well..he made things sound a little bit different than I would imagine it to be. Not too bad to have a different perspective but then again it breeds this unknowing apprehension and fear of meeting people with fucked up experiences and then I'm like doomed to mix with around with all these people and what if I cannot stay true to myself and succumb to the influences around me and change into someone I wouldn't like to change into?

I like to stay in on the weekends. Go shopping alone. Finish reading 3/4 of my newly bought books and leaving 1/4 of it unread because I hate to finish a story I like too quickly. (E.g. Everything is Illuminated by Jonathan Safran Foer. I've about 5 more chapters to go and I cannot bear to finish the goddamn book. It's been like what, over a year already? I've re-read snippets of my favourite sections, finish watching the film, yet I cannot bear to finish reading the book. ARGH)

I don't like crowds. I don't really like parties (feel extremely awkward and uneasy). I don't fancy partying the night away. Not so much about the alcohol issue but more go the ambiance? A pub is much more comfortable for me. Well for one you can actually get a decent conversation going on. Never been drunk and wasted. Don't wish to be.

So how do I fit into a crowd full of party people if things are really the way T said?? What I got from the conversation was that the easiest way to make friends was to go "You got club? Wed ai mai?". Which makes my icebreaker methods a total joke in comparison cause I plan to either

1) Borrow stationery from the person beside me
2) Drop my pen and ask the person to help me pick it up (thereby creating conversation starter)
3) Pretend to be confused at what the lecturer is saying and double confirm with the person beside me
4) Just something normal

Wa boh kat teh clubbing wu si mi hoh leh. Li ai gao peng you, ki club, tia wu li eh peng you gong eh weh meh? Ying gup an neh dua xia, long zhong lim jiu, ma na eh sai hoh hoh seh seh gong weh liao gai dui bang? Si mm si tiong kim eh lang xuan peng you si ai hi kuan ai zai sat sat, ka na jin eh sai eh?

I'm guessing only ger and pei can decode the previous paragraph but if you can, you'd understand my...worry/frustration/complex thingy.

xx cross fingers and hope for the best man.

Happy 18th to me.

Happy birthday to the girl who's forever 18 (me).


//Stashed the previous post in drafts cause some things are just too personal to be publicly moped over. Too open for comfort I reckon.

Alex Turner

And so I can openly have a crush on Alex Turner now that he has broken up with fave girl in the whole wide world, Alexa Chung. :( It's a pity though, they look really good together.

If in any case you are wondering why I cannot have a crush on Alex when he was with Alexa...I just feel weird eye-candying someone's boyfriend. Celebrity or not, it just feels weird on my part.

Alex alexa alex alexa alexa alex alex.

Confused yet?

And once again my friends will question my taste in men cause so far, they have yet to agree with me about all the guys whom I consider handsome/attractive. I think only Alex Gaskarth made the cut.

What can I say...the passion and concentration and tension that you can see in their eyes when they are playing the guitar. The vein-y arms that are developed from playing the guitar. The messy hair. :( How to resist lol.

And then a certain gangster flavour in the way they do things is very attractive too. The fearless attitude, the lets-fuck-some-shit-up mentality. Something in me is just attracted to that.

I can see my girlfriends shaking their heads in disdain at my non-conventional attraction to specific guys. So in short, I am attracted to an ah beng who can play the guitar well. Unless the person has a big turn off issue ah, like say, having bad manners or something. Which is somehow contradicting cause I am attracted to the fuck-some-shit-up mentality.

Am I making sense? It's alright, nothing makes sense after 12.30am when I am tired as hell but not being able to fall asleep.

In short, I can openly have a crush on Alex Turner now that he's single.

I bet you look good on the dancefloor

I'm usually more of a guitar person than a drums person.

But the drums on this is just epic. Even though the guitars are stunnin' too. Arctic Monkeys are one of the few bands that actually sound as awesome live as they do on track.

URGH

What in the world..

Was browsing through gmarket when I chanced upon this shirt. Which sane person would actually spend money on this atrocious vile piece of clothing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I swear if anyone were to wear this irl, I would seriously run away from the person. Okay maybe not run (too obvious, may cause said person to chase me) but brisk walk away instead.

Serious.

Bad spelling aside, I am cringing just at the sight of the one creature that should be abolished from the face of the earth. Madness. Immense hate for frogs.

Cool kid

This would be a little post to remember my first cool night. Hahahaha or noob night, whatever you prefer.

So I haven't been doing the usual things my peers are doing post-graduation and post-18 years old. You know them cool kids, gettin' it down at clubs, partying the nights away, gettin' wasted and dance the night away.

............I'm just not into all that noise and fist pumping and alcohol. Not like them cool kids. Haha.

Okay but even though so, last night was my first time being at a bar! Not those lup sup bars (with China mama-sans), but a pretty legit atas bar!

I AM SLIGHTLY COOL NOW. Teehehe ^^

Hahahahaha okay this is a very pointless post about my boring life. Highlight of the week y'all.

Kids In Love

Closed lips he was never one to kiss and tell,

Those trips in the summer never went so well

Young love was such dumb love

Call you what you want, it was still enough

And you're still, out of my reach

And you're still, all of the things that I want in my life

How can I ask you to leave me?

- Mayday Parade

Well, not so much on the last sentence but it feels pretty stupid to indulge in feeling like I'm 14 all over again over fleeting glimpses of the past.. Turning 19 in less than 2 weeks time. Makes me wonder what have I accomplished in all 19 years. Have I truly lived life according to carpe diem, which means "seize the day"? Have I loved so hard à la a James Patterson's Sam's Letters To Jennifer till the point of no regret? Have I indulged in something so crazy, so wild and so...free of society's boundaries that I can say I truly feel liberated?

So many questions, to which I know the answer to most would be negative. Too many reservations, too much unnecessary worrying, too selfish to just put myself out there and be liable for whatever potential hurt that may come my way. Too worried of what people might think, too afraid of how silly or ridiculous I might be perceived..

I hate to feel upset, and I don't think I am actually feeling upset. I am feeling...neutral. Neutral enough not to have an emotional range wider than a worm's. Neutral enough not to feel upset, nor truly feel happy with every passing day. Neutral enough that my emotions are stagnant. So stagnant, dengue can start breeding. ......Okay that was a fail attempt at a witty joke.

If I was asked what my problem is, I wouldn't even know what to say. Or where to start from. What DO I actually want? I want to feel happy. But neither am I upset in the first place so how do you return to the tangent, when you have not strayed away in the first place?

Is this post getting depressing? Cause I don't feel depressed at all, swear. It's just...haiya!!

!?

Feeling ultra confused. Why do I seem to meet with an...age-identity crisis every time it's nearing my birthday!? This is not normal. Urgh.

Until I get better..xx