Whenever Katy Perry's Peacock plays on the radio........all I feel is tension.

Thoughts that run through my mind.
1) I hope no one walks by now.
2) No monks walking pass, please. PLEASE.
3) Oh fuck did shifu just walked pass???????
4) End song now end song now end song nowwwww

Really leh.

Most of us have selective hearing. So when you hear the song for the first time, there will only be certain parts of the song that get your attention. And in this case......

I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock, cock
Your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock
I wanna see your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock, cock
Your peacock, cock, cock
Your peacock

The words in red are pretty much what people will be picking up throughout the song. They wouldn't be bothered to scrutinize and dissect the song in an attempt to fully comprehend the lyrics. Cause they're too busy shootong me dirty looks :(((((

Anyway, I am very bothered by my chubchubs chubby cheeks. ANYONE INTERESTED IN LOOKING LIKE A 3-YEAR OLD? CALL 96660......Haha I want to donate them to you leh.

I wish I had raven's ability to see into the future right now. I only managed to fall asleep at 6am in the friggin' morning today. It's gonna be a looOoooOOOoong week.

Anw I just received a text from my bro.

Bro: Hi I love you

(Confirm not he send one lah. Must be one of his stupid little friend fooling around.) So I replied this.

Me: Fuck you lah whoever that's playing with xiang guang's phone. Return him his phone if not I'll kick you in your face. Asshole.

Hahahahaha angsty ah today. Then he replied.

Bro: Sis lax is me xiang guang. I having a bet with my friend lah so I must send someone "I love you". So ya.

Hahahahaha whoOOooOoops. Kinda hoped that it was one of his puny little friends. It's not everyday that you get to intimidate your brother's friends eh. HEHEHE

Walau how can a single organism have so much coolness packed into it one. Haha. And just when I was immersing myself in his coolness and sat ki....... I just had to chance upon this photo of him in an Elle spread.

What in the fucking world did the stylist put him in?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

Like shorts + fake tattoo sheer stockings combo + eyeliner overload (bordering adam lambert alr) + cock hair = ?????????

I think he offended the stylist. Probably said that she was fat or something. Haha poor thing.

Ytd while eating dinner with pei, she asked me.

Pei: Eh you know you next fri take results right?
Me: HUH WTF REALLY AH (Ok I know I damn fail but yknow out of sight out of mind so I really no mood to go and research my results day)
Pei: Ya. Everyone talking bout it on fb. (Once again I damn fail cause me no fb)

.......Then. It was 12am. Cannot sleep.
1am. Still cannot fall asleep.
2am. Listening to aerosmith and beatles on repeat. Still not asleep.
3am. NOT ASLEEP.

Wha I think I fell asleep around 4ish? Really is tension maximum.

Tension. Stress. Tension. Stress. Nervous. Anticipation. OMGGGGGGGGGGG

I texted ger and pei at some god-forbid hour bout my worries. Pei was awake so she replied me this.

Pei: Don't stress! Life is beautiful yo!

Hahahahahaha walan eh she still got mood to life-is-beautiful me!!!!

aRRRRRRRRgggGGGGhHhhhhhhhHhHHHHHHHH SIBEI STRESS SIA HOWWWWW

My cousin just texted me this...

Thank you meishan jie jie for teaching me geog I got an A1 :)

This is something to be proud and happy bout, except that...............limbu never teach her geog leh. I abstained avoided siam geog like mad cause my geog knowledge is only limited to the rain cycle. Which was probably the only thing I taught her.

Hahahaha then she so cek ark come and thank me! Make me left right 为难。

My cousin really very cute lor. It's like having a little sister!! She will 粘你 and share bout her school stuff and come up with nicknames for classmates that she don't like/or have very ridiculous sounding names which I cannot remember.

Ok now I sound like her teenage mom.

A typical conversation would be...

Her: Meishan jiejie you know ______(inserts ridiculous name) ah, she today blah blah blah
Me: Huh stop stop who is _____?
Her: The organic girl. (Cause apparently the girl's mother feeds her 100% organic stuff. Hahahahaha very cute nickname ma. Don't judge.)
Me: *nods knowingly* Ahhhh. I know who already.

And she gives the most....random answers which will make your day!

I was teaching her literature once (ahem ahem top lit student in sec 2 ok mai siao siao). Trying to explain the whole relation of using specific adjectives to conjure up an almost sub-conscious image of the character to her.

The sentence was something like "The man looked ratty, ......."

Me: So, what will you think of when you think of rats?
Her: Huh.... I don't know leh.

So I decided to help her with the whole thought process.

Me: Okay, so...Hmmm. Where will you usually find rats?

NOW, the answer would most probably be like, in the dumpsters/rubbish bins/dirty places. Right? Then I would be able to go on explaining that the character most likely looked very unkempt, dirty, shabby blah bah. But yknow what she answered me??

Me: Okay, so...Hmmm. Where will you usually find rats?
Her: Oh I know!! PUNGGOL PARK.

Hahahahahahahahahahaha am I the only one who finds this funny??? HaiZzzzzZZzz I'm just trying to type out a long-ass post to make time pass faster cause I forgot to bring my earpiece and there are no speakers here SO I CANNOT WATCH MY GXJ. :(((((((((

So.....yeobo just completed her presentation bout haw par villa. And I asked her how did the presentation went? Like if the teacher got play stun and asked some out of the world questions.

Ger: He just ask how are you gg to involve the govt. How you want the govt to help.
Me: Tell him this.

"I will call my friends to call their grandfathers to help. My friend one is ah lee, one is ah goh. I ask them to call their grandfathers to help, don't say involve govt. Involve the ah neh president also no problem."

Ger: Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!! Cb sia!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! But fucking funny!!!!!!!!!!
Me: Haha. I know I very humorous. :)
Ger: Hahahaha one day if I die of over laughing must be cause of you.

Kekeke ^_^

Met Ting Yu for dinner ytd. We were on the topic of handsome guys. So, being the 博爱 person that I am, I decided to share (read: force-feed) him my list of handsome boyfriends.

Me: Eh onew damn handsome lor!

TY: HUH? Where got! He damn ugly leh! Wha your taste in men is fail!

Me: Huh??? He not exactly damn handsome lah, but also not till the extent of ugly ma!! He quite 耐看 leh.

TY: Huh....ok lor you think he handsome then ok lor.

So, after a bunch of other random topics, we were back to the onew-handsome topic again. Turns out.....his interpretation of my onew was............................................................................................................................................................................................................

This.

Shaquille O'NEAL. ONEW. O'NEAL.

MY VERSION OF ONEW BEING HANDSOME.

OMG so all along while I was squealing bout how cute and handsome onew was, he was thinking bout the NBA O'Neal. I don't even know anything bout basketball lah!!!!

Haha, thank goodness we cleared that up. But after I told him it was SHINee's Onew I was talking bout, he replied.

TY: Eh, he look ok only lah. Not very handsome also.

WIN LIAO LOR :(

I have the best boys ever.

After I asked belly bout something, he replied.
"Eh no cannot. Hahaha don't go k. Dinner's enough. I know you don't say no very well. So tell him you have to meet me or what easier to reject."

And pres sent me this out of nowhere.
"Guys are a dangerous breed. Many will fool you into stepping into their nest and the end :3"

Like having 2 other mothers hor? Really ah these 2. Luv them to death :)

YURI PLESKUN

What's an even better way to waste Sundays away by immersing yourself in Yuri Pleskun? Move aside Cole Mohr. Yuri all the way.

JAPAN. WHY JAPAN. I MEAN.....JAPAN??????? JAAAAPAN????? I can't even.

:(((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((

Geraldine said: HELLO DUDE
Meishan says: haha dude what lan
GERALDINE says: hahahah fuck you dude what lan
Meishan says: new image ma must fierce abit
GERALDINE says: HAHAHHA FUCK YOU
Meishan says: fiershan meierce
GERALDINE says: HAHAHAHAHA
Meishan says: dont anyhow come and test my fire ok i sibei fierce one
GERALDINE says: KNN OK PLEASE IM DOING PROJ YOU CAN DONT MAKE ME LAUGH NOT
Meishan says: you dare to knn me??? fiershan uses STARE SIMI LAN
GERALDINE says: HAHAHAH FUCK YOU MAN SRSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Meishan says: fiershan uses TOH LOH BUEY SONG WU JI KA KA LAI
GERALDINE says: FUCK YOU MAN SRSLYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY
cb i doing proj!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
_l_ i doing proj stop making me lafffffffffff
Meishan says:
少女见到中指是会害羞的！恳请大人不要这样！
GERALDINE says:
你去死
Meishan says:
HOW COULD YOU fiershan uses KIO LE EH TAO WEI LOH LAI
GERALDINE says: diam la go check movie timing
Meishan says: fiershan uses STAB STAB STAB STAB

Haha this is evidence of....when all else fails to cheer you up SELF ENTERTAINMENT will never let you down. I'm a pretty damn good example. *smug smug smug*

Movie date with yeobo~ And pencil shopping. I am going to master the art of realism portraits!! Starting with minhui's joong cause that's the simplest example I could find.

Ending abruptly...now.

Not long ago, there was a couple standing in front of the shop's fan enjoying free wind. Wouldn't blame them cause the weather's really harsh recently.

And then.....the man came in. His first question was "Outside the radio is 98.7fm ah?"

Sounds like a pretty harmless question right? So I replied "Yah."

WRONG MOVE.

His reply was akin to a music lecture about what music is appropriate at a shop that sells holy stuff. I mean, yeah I get it, you'd expect some peaceful music or whatever. BUT, it's not wrong to play the radio either...is it? Radio = Mass Media = Probably the most influential and important means of communication during WW1 and WW2. Yeah, lets see you walk out of that bomb shelter without hearing the "YOU ARE SAFE TO COME OUT NOW. WON'T DIE ONE." command during wartime. Okay, maybe the command wasn't this but you get my drift. Nothing wrong with radio.

He told me how the radio playing "rock music" is a disruption to the holiness around the shop and it influences the pov when people look at the statues of different buddhas.

So what? If there's an aerosmith song playing on the radio, when you look at the statue, you will think that the buddha is a rock star is it????? SIAO LEH.

He proceeded to tell me that he has been visiting here for almost 11 years and blah blah (I tuned out here cause I really cannot be bothered to deal with this kinda people).

11 years so? 111 years so??? IT'S JUST MUSIC LEH BROTHER. If your faith's that strong, I can play some devil music for all I care and you'd still be faithful to what you believe in right? But obviously I am not gonna play devil music lah! That's disrespectful. I'm just playing the radio babe, CHILL. No one's gonna think that here's a pimp house or drug dealing HQ ok??

This is precisely why people turn into atheists.

The very stringent and contradicting rules of fervent advocates and their behaviour, it dispels any morsel of remaining faith one has.

And I was thinking bout the dress code incident. Turns out some...uhm holy people find my dressing a tad revealing for their liking. Wha this I must really make myself clear ok.

*oooh alexa!!!* OK NO. ^ LIKE THIS REVEALING AH.

I'd most probably be decked out in some tank top with a cardigan most of the time. REVEAL WHAT YOU TELL ME. I can't control my boobs so maybe if you look at my chest long enough you might actually spot cleavage. Which brings the question of......WERE YOU STARING AT MY CHEST??? If not how you know?

*ooooOOOOOHhhhhhHhhhhhhhhhOOOOoohhH*

*flicks hair and roll eyes*

Really leh. If your loyalty and adherence to your faith is really as strong as what you project it to be, heck, even if bikini-clad girls were to gyrate in front of you, you wouldn't waver right? So free to complain, might as well take a trip to orchard and throw a blanket over every teenage girl you see. Cause most probably they're decked out in shorts (LEGS! OH THE HORROR!) or short dresses or a piece cloth you deem as indecent for your eyes.

Really is. Eat full already nothing to do want to di siao siao leh.

Ger: Ya you call her close to your closing time ah.
Me: Yeah. Aiseh your excuse-making skills got level up sia!!! Geracuse evolve!!! Haha your pokemon is geracuse. Then my pokemon is meisuay. Cause is really suay ka bei si.
Ger: Hahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!! Fuck you la meisuay!!!!!!! Anyhow!!!!!!

*Then I accidentally pressed closed window so have to restart everything again*

Me: Haha just now i press close window accidentally so the session end. But ok we can continue our battle now geracuse!! Meisuay uses BAD LUCK!
Ger: Hahahahah fuck you la srsly!!!! Stop making me laugh like some idiot in public can not cb!!!
Hahaha I very humorous right. I also think so. *Smug smug smug*

Haiya but back to topic, really is suay maximum ok?? The HR dept woman (whom I don't like since first day of work cause she very unfriendly and GL max) called me up. I thought she wanna give me my salary! But NO......she passed me 2 fugly max white polo tee with the metta logo and told me that I need to wear them everyday when I go to work!!!!

WTF???????????????????????????????????????????????? I WORK ALMOST 3 MONTHS SO HAPPY EVERYDAY THEN YOU SUDDENLY WANNA PLAY STUN TELL ME I NEED TO WEAR UNIFORM???

Ahem ahem. Ok this may be a small thing lah, but then I really dont like dont like dont like maximum to wear uniforms!! Esp ugly ones!!

People that wear the white metta shirt at my workplace.
1) The uncle who repairs electrical stuff.
2) The uncle who do sai gang.
3) The uncle and aunty who need to push wheelchairs all.

EH walau all is need to perspire all then they make them wear the shirt ma. So they don't have to dirty their own shirts. But!!! Limbu whole day just inside aircon room!!! Is almost the same thing as what those stupid HR dept ppl doing ma!!! YOU ALSO DONT NEED TO WEAR WHY I MUST WEAR. HUH HUH HUH HUH HUH!!!!!

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHH

:((((

I know lah I sound like a spoilt brat now BUT WHATEVER OK I REALLY IS!!!! TAO YAN!!! :(((((((((((

Girl Crush.

1) My face when my dad forced me to buy toto for my bro and I. 10 million leh.

2) My face when belly told me he has to book in at 1030 after he told me he can book out today.

3) My face when I queued for a friggin long time only to be told I have to wait another 10mins to pay for my toto bet.

4) My face when people just decide to park the damn trolley right in the fucking middle of the aisle. Excuse me other people is air is it!

5) My face when people call me like for a thousand times but just never drop me a message bout what's so important that you have to spam call. No message I won't call back one hor.

Haha whassup with the complaints man! Today's an overrated day but what the heck HAPPY VALENTINES TO MY LOVED ONES~

Ger: The classroom damn cold!
Me: Want me to give you 热情？Cause 我的热情，好像一把火. Hahahahahaha
Ger: Ahyo!!! Please huh early morning please dont do this to me!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Walau. You just never give me face leh ah juan. :( :( Lai lah I dedicate this song to you dont say I 送佛没有送到西 ok?



HAHAHAHAHA EH PLEASE DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND LISTEN TO THIS VIDEO LEH. 34 SECONDS ONLY. CONFIRM YOU WHOLE DAY HAPPY!!! :)

HEHE YOU'RE WELCOMED AH~

Was at pei's house at 11pm snacking on her mama's pineapple tarts cause I'm awesome like that. Haha no lah those lil' tarts ARE DA BOMB MAN!!!!!!!!!!

I think i ate bout...close to 10? Or more? Hehehe *sheepish smile*

AnywayyyYYyy, funny story to share.

I was inside her room changing my clothes without my contacts on.

Me without contacts = blind rat.

So I was walking around while taking my top off lah. I stood in front of the mirror to put a shirt back on when I saw a FREAKING GUY STANDING BEHIND ME. LIKE CROSSING HIS HANDS ACROSS HIS CHEST AND STANDING BEHIND ME. SMILING.

SCARED THE SHIT OUT OF ME OK CAUSE KNNCCB I SWEAR LOCKED THE DOOR!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I immediately turned around and I think my eyeballs dilated to the size of dodo fishballs cause my vision became clearer and I realised............

The "man" was this poster.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Wtf I really damn imbar. Immediately ran into the other room to tell pei and her sis bout my encounter. Thinking back, really damn joker man!!! Haiya but on hindsight.....If only it was him lor!!! SIAN. Haha!!

Haha how stupid can I get!!!!!!! Laughed most of the pineapple tarts' calories away while watching running man. Sibei fucking funny man pei was right bout introducing that show!!!

Cabbed home and nua-ed most of the day away by watching shows in tv-dozing off into 30min naps-continue watching tv-dozing off.

SIANnnnNNNnnN >:(

I feel like I've earned a "I am a zoologist" badge.

1) I fed hungry koi fishes (they haven't been eating for 2 days I think? Fish food ran out.)
2) Got one ungrateful koi fish. Eat alr just spit the food back out! Walau very no give face. I know I noob at feeding you lah, at least eat abit can or not.
3) I relocated a tiny snail. He was on the pavement! Confirm will die one if I never relocate *proud of self*
4) Attempted to pluck him off the ground but his body damn knn sticky ok then the body just stretch and extended like a chewing gum. Damn scared I will rip his body apart.
5) After much contemplation I decided to pour water on him. Very kiang of me to do so. He started to float and I picked him up!!
6) Panic. Cause everywhere also pavement I donno where to relocate him!!!!!
7) Found a bigger snail 纳凉 at one corner on some soil. Decided to relocate him there. Cause got friend some more leh.
8) Packed fish food into plastic bags for small kids to feed.

WHERE IS MY ZOOLOGIST BADGE.

Told bel bout my encounter and he replied "Hahaha wtf. You think you cute ah."
:( :( :(

Nvm, Zookeeper Goh shall forgive you.

*reading an article bout some lose-weight-fast diet plan*

And suddenly......................a student came in.

Student: Meishan my mum asked me to give you this cake. It's from my chinese birthday ytd.

It's a vanilla cake covered with cream and almond and topped with strawberries, mango, and kiwi.

Walau how to resist you tell me?? Diet starts tmr, tmr ^_^

(It's never gonna hapen is it? :( Sob. No, yes it will! AhhhHGHGHHHhHHhHhhh)

Bff: Actually I wanted to get you out of that dress justttttt!
Me: Ah hah! You can't get me out of a dress if I'm not wearing one babe. I have no skirts (well, maybe 1) and definitely no dresses.
Bff: You need some oestrogen I swear.

HAHAHA. Maybe after I downed a bottle of femininity. And lose like 10kg, then maybe I'll put myself in a dress.

Anw, since we're on the topic of funny texts. Quek Peiyun's is the epitome of all funny texts can!

Ytd, when I just woke up feeling all groggy and was bout to crash back to sleep...

Pei: Walan eh. Limbu nose bleed sia! Fuck.


After reading the first few lines I immediately switched from -.- to O.O


I started thinking of worst-case scenarios ok! Like maybe she got socked in the face or had heat stroke or SOMETHING. Then, I read the full message and burst out in fits of laughter.



Pei: Walan eh. Limbu nose bleed sia! Fuck. My baby ong ong swim for the sports idol. Fucking hot I tell you!!! Nose bleed until no more blood sia!!!!! Fuckkkkkk. Hottttttt!!



Really sia early morning just wanna play stun and scare me say she nose bleed. End up is cause of this:

Haha. And the preceeding texts also very daebak ok!

Pei: Is sexy until like can just rape him liao sia! Hahas. Ji tao pin him on the bed sia! Tear his clothes ah. Hahas. Fucking hot i swear!

So I suggested that she rape jjong instead. Since he pai ka so confirm no horse run (boh beh zao). Haha, higher chance of success right. Seulong's legs fucking muscular + long sia. I wouldn't want to be kicked off the bed by someone his size if I were to be a rapist. Confirm paralysed. Okay I digress, but this is what she replied.

Pei: No ley! Is end up ong ong pin me on the bed sia! He strip himself liao the pin me. Hahas! Jjong ah, now second place la. My ong ong better.

-_-

Tell me how to resist this!?

Haha best alr this one. ^___^

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA eh I want to find the photo on the right. New caller image confirm.

Gong Hei Fat Choy everyone! Cny started off...kinda shitty? Hoping that tmr will be a better day. Who am I kidding, got ang pao, confirm better. Haha realistic hor.

Anw...I realise I like to use acronyms. A lot. Especially those that I came up with myself. Yeobo is a smart alec for not needing any explanation. She just gets it!

Skk = Sungkyunkwan scandal

Khyy = Ka Hou Yuet Yun

Ptw = Po Tian Wang

Zjm = Zhou Jie Ming

Hzz = Hong Zhi Zhong (Ya la we both watch 爱 la don't judge leh. Nice hor.)

A lot more! But this one most imbar. Was watching 赤壁 just now so I just texted yeobo.

Me: Eh watch cb la.

Really is lazy max.

I am at episode 36 of Ka Hou Yuet Yun now!!! Full series is 40 episodes. Sibei sian leh what to watch after this. Not really in the korean mood so I think I'll start on......Gong Sum Gai? ^__^

And if I ever feel bored I can always switch to My Princess (that ah lee has been raving bout since forever). So many nice shows!!! Yippeeee~

Mcfly. Danny Jones.

I would kill to see them. Really. Best band on Earth! (And hello??? (Almost) naked photos?? How not to love them hehe ^_^)