FOUR

Left: I'm constantly checking for updates but my efforts have led to naught. I've been reduced to playing What's The Picture, which is the retarded version of 4 Pics 1 Word. :(

Right: Recently, all my conversations with my Mum has been like this. And yes, my Mum just dropped the F bomb on me for helping her. Lol.

A picture that was shown when I was playing  the word "REFLECT". Totally misleading because this is refraction. Which reminds me of my obsession with Pink Floyd at the moment. Wikipedia defines their music as "Psychedelic Rock". So psychedelic it is.

Probably my favourite song off their Dark Side of The Moon album. That is, until I play it to death and have to replace it. I kinda prefer the live version over the studio one. Also, David Gilmour is really hot. I see no difference between him at 22 and him at 67.

And you run and you run to catch up with the sun,

but it's sinking

And racing around to come up behind you again

The sun is the same in a relative way, but you're older

Shorter of breath and one day closer to death

xx

OVER

"It's not fair to act like people let you down if you never told them what you wanted."

Something I saw on Cougar Town a little while back which sparked a whole train of overly thought thoughts. Because if anything would be my niche, it would be over thinking things.

As much as I would like to agree with the quote, I feel like a hypocrite doing so because I am acting exactly like that. Being all disappointed and secretly angry at someone who has absolutely no idea that I am. Or why I am. On nights when I feel guilty doing so, I get this mysterious surge of...courage and plan out all the things I am going to do right by once I wake up. Like take the initiative, be positive about the issue at hand,  put in effort to make changes, etc. But somewhere along the way, life takes over, feelings take over, reactions take over, loyalty takes over, other people's opinions take over...and I revert back to my original stand of staying secretly unhappy.

And the thing is - I'm not even the kind who stays mad at the same issue for forever! Mainly because 1) My memory just doesn't provide that kind of mileage, lol and 2) I have mastered the skill of out of sight, out of mind. Seriously, if the issue doesn't get mentioned for a long enough time and we have talked about other stuff enough, I will forget about it.  Or at least lower the significance of it to that of a differing opinion about... vanilla or chocolate. To which the choice would not matter because they are both equally delicious.

However, the issue of other people's opinions and loyalty takes over. Do I stand by my opinion because it would be loyal to do so, or should I persevere on with my whole...leave it alone long enough and things will normalize eventually thing?

But of course, this is all built on the premise that when I eventually do take the step forward to mend things, the other party would reciprocate and things will go back to it's original stance. That would be the most ideal outcome. But how often does a premise built on idealism end well? Sigh.

I'm not saying that I'm being forced to stay in the predicament that I am in right now. I'm not. I do feel a sense of indignation. But I am also starting to feel exhausted over feeling resentful - mostly because a copious amount of pretense is involved - and I am just wondering if the correct way out is to mend things? And would I be disloyal if I do so? And if things would work out the way I want it to?

I wish I could hold a poll and have a diverse plate of opinions so that I can work this conundrum out. Kinda like when Ted was holding his field trip with his students which eventually morphed into a very diverse mix of people that follows him around town which Barney and him used to settle differing opinions about things. And, I digress. I've only talked to two people about it and all I've gotten back was that it isn't worth the effort.

The thing is, these two opinions should be enough for me to make up my mind because I've consulted them about a million other things and have always came to a clear outcome but somehow... I feel that they might be biased this time round. Either that or they are truly seeing reality as it is and I am the idiot who refuses to put away her glasses doused in idealism.

But like I said, how often does a premise built on idealism end well? Realistically speaking, I'm probably the only one feeling this way while everyone has already moved on and re-calibrated their social focus while I'm just hell bent stuck on making something change because I've pondered about this option for the longest time and am now, feeling a little regretful (and a little encumbered) by the consequences of putting things on the back burner for way too long. Simply put, what makes me think that the other party even wants things to revert back to before? Maybe things are better now for them. Then what?

Sigh. I'm stuck in a real pickle, huh. And funny thing is, I probably sought this pickle out myself and choose to stay in there.

I know, I know. This whole post is just a whole lot of indecisiveness and back and forth and doubting and counter doubting all rolled into one with no concrete stand and outcome. What can I say, over thinking is my niche? Ha ha. And, look! My ending paragraph worked out better than I expected.

It probably wouldn't get worked out in the foreseeable future, but at least this chunk of word vomit got it out of my system for the time being.

Sigh.

xx

MARCH

March installment! Clockwise,

1) 21st birthday card.

2) Kenny the Carrot from an Ikea trip with Mummy. The same trip when I was denied my meatball craving because of the whole horse meat scandal. Someone asked me what the "meat name" for horse was. Pig = pork, cow = beef, deer = venison. So horse = ?? Hmmm.

3) Double yolks from a single egg from dinner last week. It's the second egg with double yolks from the same carton.

4) Kitty ear flats which gave me about 6 blisters in total because I thought that the perfect way to break them in is to go sans plasters and socks and walk around for the whole day. Still cute though.

And that is probably all that I have for this month.

On a completely unrelated note, I feel that my mind gives up on me more often than usual recently.

G: She is exactly 2 months younger than me.
Me: How is that possible? Your birthday is in February leh.
G: Why not?
Me: But how? February, January, December. How is it- OHHHHHH. February, March, April.
G: Oh my god...

 

Just last Saturday, I had spent 15 minutes walking to Expo MRT station from Changi City Point. The mall is literally straight across the station but given my exceptional navigation skills, I've chosen the furthest exit possible and gone on a little hike instead. Nice.

On another note, I cannot help but feel a little disgruntled at a predicament that I am facing right now. It's the kind of situation when it's no one's fault but more of a "Oh... Okay." kinda thing. You would have to accept it because you don't see any other viable solutions but...you know. I'll do it, but I won't be happy doing it la. It's not too much of me to feel a little upset right?

Sigh.

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And since I need an outlet for UFC 158 (meaning no one else is interested to hear me rambling about it :'( ), I shall unload it here.

How sick was the Condit vs Hendricks fight?! Fight of the night for sure. Ellenberger vs Marquardt was also pretty sick. Least entertaining fight has got to be Ricci vs Fletcher fight. Ricci won, but I was expecting a more...impressive fight? He hasn't really lived up to the hype of the coaches' rave about him yet. The commentary actually strayed mid fight because there wasn't anything interesting to note.

(long pause)

"...Hmm. Colin Fletcher has got to be the whitest human being I've ever seen."

"Yeah. Guess there isn't much sun in Britian?"

"Ha ha yeah, probably cause he's in the gym all the time. Oh! Good kick by Ricci there."

LOL. 

And the main event! The highly anticipated GSP vs Diaz fight. Not the fight I was hoping to see, but a clever fight on Georges part nonetheless. I feel a little bad for Diaz though...he looked a little weary and the crowd definitely didn't cut him any slack when it came to booing and cursing in unison.

If anything, there's always Nick's outspokenness to provide entertainment I guess. "Win or lose, he's still a little bitch". Quite hilarious.

Oh well. That's Nick Diaz for you. But I do hope he gives himself a good long break soon, he looks very jaded. Guess it must suck being branded public enemy #1.

Upcoming line up for 159 and 160 looks pretty okay, Mark Hunt eventually stepped in for Overeem for the fight with JDS. Personally I feel that it might have been a no choice kinda acceptance? I don't think he's that prepared for Junior yet. But! I am particularly looking forward to Khabib's fight. First name cause god, is his last name a mouthful. Nurmagomdov. Try saying that really quickly repeatedly.

I digress, but a 19-0 record is pretty impressive thus far. So...yup that is all.

On a completely unrelated note, the Cyprus bailout is absolutely ridiculous. Makes you wonder how bad things are for them to think that taxing depositors would be a good idea.

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Ain't That a Bitch by Aerosmith is probably a fitting song right now.

Then you feel so out of place
Lickin' up the arsenic
From the same old lace
You know that stuff is poison
But you gotta have a taste

xx

MANSON

And I don't want you, and I don't need you

Don't bother to resist or I'll beat you,

It's not your fault that you're always wrong,

The weak ones are there to justify the strong

The beautiful people, the beautiful people

It's all relative to the size of your steeple

You can't see the forest, for the trees

And you can't smell your own shit on your knees

Have been listening to a lot of Marilyn Manson lately. One of my favourite songs of all time is Sweet Dreams (Are made of This) by them.

I was considering whether I should put up the original MV, but decided against it in the end because it might be a little...disturbing to some. How he performed in the video above is already considered mellow in comparison to most of his MVs.

Case in point, this is how he looks like in it.

   

Yup.

If you haven't been deterred by the way he acts on stage, good for you! Always a bonus to have a little Marilyn Manson in your life. He is extremely intelligent and well spoken, plus he has a wicked sense of humor.

Watch from 3:45 onward if you have the time to spare. Quite a thought provoking discussion about perception and religion.

Gordon: I have 9 felonies, and he (Marilyn Manson) is supposed to be the bad guy. Where are the standards in this country?

Host: That's a good point. You have been to prison, and they have tried to arrest you (Manson). But they haven't succeeded.

Marilyn Manson: Right. It's the lipstick. If we put some lipstick on him I think everything will change. 

Lol.

Okay, time to get back to studying.

I have a ton of case laws and sections to memorize because unlike other schools, mine doesn't believe in the system of an open book test. Especially when it involves a hundred different case laws. Sigh, Ah Lee if you are reading this, I am very jealous of you. :(

xx

HUNT

Woke up bright and early today to catch Stefan Struve's match on UFC TV 8!

How I look like in the moments building up to his match.

How I felt early on in the match when he was so close to a successful arm lock.

How I felt after the match.

He lost by TKO and Mark Hunt's punches broke his jaw. Saw one of his tweets post-fight, and it started with "Wired my jaw in the hospital...". Eewwouch. A little disappointed, but he's still young so there's always next time. Still my favourite heavyweight! :)

Speaking of next times, I would love to see a match between Mark Hunt and Roy Nelson. Who else concurs?

And...another really interesting fight to look forward to!

I think a lot of booing is to be expected when Diaz walks out. Quite a shame though, so much drama being exaggerated for promotions' sake.

Side note, GSP's french accented English makes him oddly mesmerizing. But maybe that's just me.

Okay I think that's enough testosterone for now. A little update about my life (or lack of) thus far.

1) Studied my ass off.
2) Completed two papers in one day and feeling thoroughly exhausted after that.
3) Dragged myself to tuition.
4) Met Huihui for dinner at Bedok 85 after for a little bar chor mee lovin', where she generously gave me all her pork lard.

At some point, exhaustion took over my ability to speak and process my surroundings properly.

Me: 两碗面.
Owner: 坐那里？
Me: 零一七.
Owner: So 十七？
Me: Huh? 不是. 是零一七.
Owner: *looks at me weirdly* Okay...

Our table number was 017.

I foresee the next 3 months being an exponential function of 1) and 3).

Digression, the weather is turning warmer nowadays and I feel a little upset. As much as I dislike rain, I dislike humidity more. My words with friends opponent told me that she would cut away her left arm in exchange for warm weather all year round. She says funny things like that from time to time.

As you can tell, exhaustion has once again taken over my ability to express myself properly.
Also, I have nothing else interesting to contribute to this post.

xx