1) Suddenly switching from white to dim light out of no where.
2) Refusing to switch back to white light despite me clicking on the switch a million times.
3) Emitting a (quite) threatening buzzing sound while flickering between white/dim lights which gives me the impression that something is about to explode.
So far nothing's blown up yet. I've changed the bulb once but it doesn't seem to help, so there's that.
Also, I have been feeling a little despondent lately, which is something I would like to think does not happen all that frequently. Just try to feel crestfallen as an emotion instead of an adjective and you'll get the picture. Sometimes I feel the urge to talk to someone about it, but I wouldn't know how to begin if I did because it's just a bunch of negative emotions lumped together with no particular problem to account to. And then sometimes I would feel like telling a familiar someone, "Hey, I just need to rant so just hear me out yeah?", follow up with a chunk of incoherent word vomit, and then move on from it. Going back to the person you decided to distance yourself from seems a little hypocritical and unfair, and confiding in another seems intruding and pointless.
And then other times I just feel...lonely. And silly for feeling lonely. But mostly lonely.
Stress and loneliness usually stem from the discrepancy between what your ideals and your reality, which just means that you are generally unsatisfied and unfulfilled with the way things are now. Giving a scientific definition to an intangible emotion helps to force things into a more objective point of view, which helps me to deal with these overly "feely" emotions as nothing more than a hormonal passing phase, but...something always seems to fall short.
You know what? Hormones. Let's just chalk it up to hormones and sleep it off tonight.
xx
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