171

UFC 171 recap + a bunch of random stuff. Actually, I only managed to catch the last 2 fights so this is more like 2/9 of a recap. Also, my memory is shit so this is a summary of two-ninths of a summary.

Carlos Condit vs Tyrone Woodley

Carlos is probably one of the best looking fighters out there. But then again my perception isn't exactly mainstream so it might be debatable. And Woodley...wa piang Tyrone Woodley is a walking block of muscle la. A block of pure, dense, packed muscle. Have you seen his legs? Those quads are fucking unreal. Onto the fight!

Carlos ate 2 right ones straight off the bat, followed by takedowns by Woodley with Carlos' leg tucked in. Does my description make sense? Anyhow, I feel like that might have something to do with popping his knee later on. Ended the first round with a closely missed spinning back elbow from Woodley. A takedown into the second round later annnnnnd Carlos' knee/ACL/something in that knee area snapped. Tyrone kicked his left knee but his right knee gave out instead when he tried to land on it.

 

Weird takedown/knee

You can almost hear the heartbreaks in the crowds because everyone was rooting for Condit to win and nobody saw that coming la. SIGH. Can they label the fight "TKO (real talk it's just a really unfortunate knee injury so can we scrape this?)" instead of just TKO (leg injury) ? In the words of teenage boy lingo...shag. :(

Fight ended with a childish cameraman obstinately refusing to pan to Nick Diaz who was sitting beside Ronda Rousey, despite her leaning into and pointing towards him. In related Diaz brothers news, Nate Diaz and his #wackasshendrix hashtag on twitter. I loled.

Johny Hendricks vs Robbie Lawler

Home ground for Johny!

First round: A good combination of punches + knee early on by Lawler. Then let the clinch/lame takedowns ensue. Hendricks attempted several times but Lawler's takedown defense was super on point. Hendricks putting in the grind for the leg kicks.

Second round: Hendricks switched it up and threw a barrage of jabs/punches/kicks/knees.

Third + Fourth round: Lawler is on fire and his boxing game was strong as hell. Huge uppercut that boggled Hendricks' marbles for a bit. Hendricks was eating punches left right before he decided to dish some of it back but Lawler just took them all in with a smile on his face.

Fifth round: Leg kicks starting to pay off and Hendricks amps it up. Lawler ate a huge left hand from Hendricks followed by impeccable combination thrown + a leg kick and finished off with a (semi-successful?) takedown. Best takedown of all 5 rounds at least. Lawler shakes his head in disappointment when he saw that there is only 40 seconds left on the clock and Hendricks is still sitting on his clinched ass.

 

Result: Johny Hendricks is the new welterweight champion! Yaaaaaaasssss!

Side note: Someone in Lawler's camp had to take off their shirt because they couldn't find Robbie's original walkout shirt. What. Err...okay.

Side side note: Lawler has 烈 and 刑 tattooed on his body. Took me about 2.5 rounds to figure out these two Chinese characters because my proficiency in the language is only relevant when 1) I speak it and,

2) there are other Chinese characters beside it to refer and interpret from. Like if it was 酷刑, the 刑 would be easier for me to recognise. Having said that, all I can think of now is 烈奶. Lie4 nai3 means condensed milk right? Or is that a different lie4? 

Displaying my significantly worsened grasp of the Chinese language. Always a good way to end an incoherent post.

Following the incoherence, I haven't had a haircut in forever and my ponytails/buns are giving me a headache if I put my hair up for too long. Actually, the headaches could also just be the immediate effect of reading notes. Post-structuralism can go fuck itself.

--
Arthur: We shouldn't get married... we have nothing in common. You love horses. I don't trust them. Their shoes are permanent. Who makes that kind of a commitment to a shoe?

Touche Arthur, touche.