Almost choked to death on my own saliva earlier today whilst on the bus because I was trying to hold back my laughter while listening to The Fighter & The Kid podcast. Brendan Schaub has absolutely no chill when it comes to dishing out the funny.
(talking about Bryan Callen's 3 years old son who apparently cries a lot)
Schaub: ...no no no. Kids do cry, yours cry all the time.
Callen: But he's not even 3 yet!
Schaub: He cries non-stop. I chewed into an apple once and he started crying because of the crunching noise. I mean, could you have a bigger pussy for a kid? Can we be honest here? I bit into an apple and he started crying!
*Callen screaming in the background trying to defend his kid*
Schaub: He said the crunching noise hurts his ears! Oh fuck off little Callen. Go...fuck off!
Callen: No no! He was like, "Wait! I want an apple, the big giant is taking my apple". That's what he was saying.
Schaub: No, there's a shit load of apples. I bit into one and he starts crying. Oh go fuck yourself little Callen.
Callen: This is Brendan at 30 dealing with a 2.5 year old - you are not getting any food, and you are not getting a toy. I'm keeping the ball for myself, and I'm eating this apple. Shame on you.
Schaub: Well no, there's a shit load of apples but he's crying because I bit into the apple. Bro, come on! And he had no pants on? *sounds even more incredulous* He had no pants on? It was awkward man, it was awkward.
Callen: ...yeah. Well, he doesn't believe in pants.
Schaub: Doesn't believe in pants? Hahahaha!
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.
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Schaub: Your kid sucks.
LOLOLOL. The giggles from this podcast are endless.
Aside from almost choking to death, most of my weekend have been spent fighting off the drowsiness that comes with the second (different) bottle of cough syrup that the doctor has prescribed for me - mostly because the first bottle did little to alleviate my image as a potential TB patient. Also, going back to seek for a second consultation in less than 2 days and asking for "antibiotics and a stronger cough syrup because the previous one did nothing" mightttt have insinuated something about the doctor's medicine-prescription skills because boy did he up the ante on his medicine game. His goal might be to render me unconscious throughout the weekend as payback for insulting his medicine-prescription skills because the drowsiness is strong with the second bottle. Well, either that or he just thought that I needed more bed rest. It was probably the latter, but where's the fun in not vilifying your friendly neighbourhood GP?
If you can't already tell, this entire post was written whilst trying to fight off the new cough syrup's drowsiness.
x
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