TOAST

Sunday mornings, aka "how many pieces of toast and an obscene amount of jam can I stuff into my face before I fall into a deep carbohydrate slumber?". The answer is still pending at 2 because I was just browsing through UFC fighters' and their girlfriends' instagram accounts and it's making me second guess my toast binge.

I really, really love toast and jam. Well, mostly just jam if we're being honest because homegirl over here has an incredibly large sweet tooth.

Throwback to a company dinner last week where I had to share a plate with my colleague cause I was stuffed from a late lunch. And I use "share a plate" very loosely because we only had 2 sotong balls, 1 hashbrown and 2 mini cream puffs sitting on our plate.

Colleague: Eh who wants cake?
Me: I'm very full already eh..........but okay la I'll have a slice.

Colleague: I'm very full already leh.
Me: Me too.
.
.
. (spots uneaten slice of cake on the table)
.
.
But lemme just holla at that 2nd slice of cake real quick.

Apparently my stomach knows no cake limit. Or any limit when it comes to pastries or desserts or sweets or chocolate actually.

You know what? I'm just going to have some more toast and jam la.

LUMBER

Flipped through a magazine during breakfast toady and I came across the word "lumbersexual". You know how "metrosexual" is used to describe men who spend more time grooming themselves? Lumbersexuals are just metrosexuals with beards. Because somehow, having a beard is the only qualifying factor you need to become a lumberjack.

I just...can't. This has got to be one of the most stupid terms I've come across ever since "bae", which I initially thought was just a ghetto spelling of "babe" but it turns out to be an acronym for "before anything else".

That being said, I ain't mad at the at look though, because apparently being "lumbersexual" means looking like this:

(L-R: Charlie Hunnam (repping the entire Sons of Anarchy cast), Alexander Gustafsson, Conor McGregor)

So if  "lumbersexual" just means "hot men with beards" then...I'm down with whatever lame name social media is deeming this look as. Because how can a girl possibly stay mad at something that looks like that /inserts heart eyes emoji.

But let's move on to a different topic. 

Who caught UFC 184 this afternoon?

1. RONDA FUCKING ROUSEY.

14 seconds? 14 seconds to finish a fight?? God damn, to think that I thought that 16 seconds was already a beast of a timing when she had beaten Alexis Davis back in July. Ronda is just an absolute beast of a warrior. So who is left for the UFC to put against Ronda? Miesha Tate 3.0? Cat Zingano 2.0? I could not think of anyone who is even remotely close to being a considerable competitor for Ronda Rousey at this moment.

2. ELLENBERGER VS KOSCHECK'S NECK

Finally a win for Ellenberger! Definitely a much deserved win (and performance of the night) after coming off of 3 losses. Gotta give Koscheck his due props because he was already foaming at his mouth before even considering tapping out. We all know about Ellenberger's knockout power, so just imagine the same power (or more) being wrapped around your neck. No doubt that Josh Koscheck is going to have a rough few nights with his neck after today.

...and that's all I can remember from UFC 184.

By now you must be thinking, "Oh wow Meishan, you must be quite free today to be able to write this post ah!". But you are wrong. You are very wrong. I have promised my cousin to help him with his write up (aka turn his points into a full 500 words essay) and have brought home a ton of work to clear, but here I am, procrastinating it all by writing this damn post - including finding photos and making a collage of "lumbersexuals" - because I am really dreading doing anything remotely productive.

I just want to bury myself under my sheets and have someone tell me that my weekend is extended till Wednesday.

SQUIRREL!

Have a little free time on my hands so I decided to update this space instead of waiting for an entire month/when something unhappy happens and I need to vent.

Because typing in coherent paragraphs about what's been going on in my life is not exactly my forte, I'm just going to do what I do best - lists. Here's a list of things about my life...recently.

1) I've been up all night, tryin' to get that rich, I've been work, work, work, work, working on my shit.

Except I am neither 16 or living in Miami. Plus I have no Louboutins to walk in - although I highly doubt that I could walk in them even if I tried.Can someone explain to me why sartorial restrictions exist again? Aren't all of them just socially constructed rules borne under the crushing pressure of capitalism? What I wouldn't give to live in tank tops and skinny (ripped) jeans all day long. Because what's my wardrobe without articles of clothing with intentionally made holes in them to fulfill my inner rock void...and to also facilitate air ventilation la, because holy shit is it hot as balls recently.

2) Void of Valentine's/CNY

Walked through the mall today and saw a bunch of men crammed inside Pandora and wondered to myself "That's weird. Why are there so many guys? What special day is- ohhhhhHHHhhHHhhh".

Bunch of men = Panicking boyfriends/spouses looking for a last minute Valentine's Day gift.

I don't remember if I have mentioned this before but I used to not give a tiny rat's ass (Phoebe from Friends' reference) about Valentine's Day. It didn't matter if I was with someone or not, I just couldn't care less about making another day spent together even more significant than any of the other days. I don't know what has changed, or how to classify my current feels towards Valentine's, but this would be the second year running that I'm feeling this way so...Void of Valentine's 2.0?


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The above was written the week of Valentines' Day and I guess it goes without saying that I have in fact,  extremely overestimated the amount of free time I have. Hahaha. So there you have it, two points about the not so recent updates regarding my life. I have been completely swallowed by work and more work so I guess there isn't much to be updated anyway.

Feeling oddly driven at this moment but that might be the result of an overdose of adrenaline and caffeine. But the bottom line is that life has been good recently. So, till next time! I wonder who still reads this space. Anyone who misses my half-assed UFC reviews and random thought vomits? Which reminds me, I caught the Frank Mir vs Bigfoot fight on my phone during the train ride and WHAT IN THE WORLD. Frank Mir's left hook didn't even look like it connected la! The size of my phone screen might have something to do with it but seriously, I would have never anticipated that that hook would be the one that knocked Bigfoot out. Good on you Frank Mir.

Next up, Luke Rockhold (/insert heart eyes emoji because he is quite the cutie pie) vs Lyoto Machida (also another pie) and the long awaited Ronda Rousey vs Cat Zingano.

 Pie reference in HD for your viewing pleasure.

 
So yes, two bad ass warriors and two pies to look forward to.

What was the point of this update again? Oh yes, my caffeine and adrenaline high. I feel like the dog Doug (is that his name or did I just pull that out of my ass?) from the movie Up who screams "squirrel!" every time he sees one.

Caffeine!

OFTEN

GOD DAMN THIS BLOODY SONG.

.

How do normal, functional relationships work again?

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Replacing a chunk of exasperation filled word vomit with a question because...damn does it get tiring trying to analyze an old problem to the bone. Nothing ever changes, and nothing ever will. All that's left to do is to internalize all the negativity and sweep everything under the rug before moving on and pretending like nothing ever happened until the next time the same issue boils over again.

Because that's what I do best after all. Internalization and escapism.