AMAZING

Caught The Amazing Spiderman with the boys on friday. First row seats cause that's just how we roll.

Okay not really. It was because we were lazy asses who couldn't be bothered to get the tickets earlier. Spiderman's opening tonight? 1045 time slot? No problemo. We'll just reach at 1055, reluctantly accept our first row fate, queue up for popcorn (I insisted) and then slowly saunter to our seats just in time for the movie.

The farthest up front seats I got were 3rd row seats for TRANSFORMERS. By the end of the movie my neck was in a semi paralysed 45 degree angle and my bladder was killing me. But first row spidy wasn't as bad as I thought it would be though. Probably cause Andrew Garfield and Emma Stone were just too cute to be true and that there was a 3 year old kid spidy parkouring/b-boying on the carpeted floor. 

Belly was socialite of the night because he was always no less than 5 feet away from someone he knows. At one point we met a group of like...7 dudes with only 2 and later 3 familiar faces I know. So while pres and belly were doing their man talk, I was standing in the middle mouthing "awkward..." and playing with my feet cause it obviously makes it less awkward.

That was pretty much how I looked like for the duration of the man talk

Until one of them asked me "So you are in year 2 of JC now?". It took me a moment to establish proper eye contact and I may or may not have shifted to a spot with better lighting just to recognise him (it was 1am and the lights were very dim), but I did in the end, without embarrassing myself. Lol.

And so we sat at supper table to talk and catch up like we always do, made a 7-11 run, relocated to under my block, before heading off to have breakfast at Macs. Props to them cause they were already dead beat by then but still gave in to my breakfast request. :)

Plus having them around is always a good thing. I don't know how they do it but talking about any problems to them instantly reduces the severity of it, which makes me feel stupid for classifying it as a problem in the first place. So by dawn I was feeling like as problem free as a...as whatever that is problem free right now.

So here I am up at 2, recollecting friday's events and thinking about how badly I failed at wanting to adjust my sleeping patterns back to normal.

P.S BONES SEASON 7 TOMORROW. Missed the first ep but all's good they are going to replay it and imma watch the shit out of it. Bones preggers + Booth with his dreamy dreamy bedroom eyes = awesome possum.

URGH

How I feel about 5 minutes ago.

Before that motherfucking mosquito that is under my desk bit my leg.

So now I am like this

WHY MOZZIE, WHY.

DESPERATE

 My desperate attempt to stay young. Lol.

Was watching a video called "Teens React" on youtube because I couldn't fall asleep, when I thought to myself "Hey that dude looks kinda cute eh" (trust me my judgement tends to be on the tangent the more sleep deprived I am).

That was before they started flashing their ages and it ranged from 15-17. I felt like a cougar for about 3.5 seconds before realising that I am long out of the teen category according to society's standards OH GOD Y. I still catch myself going "18" when random people ask me for my age. Very buey paiseh I know but I cannot really remember my own age (very ashamed) after not making a big deal out of birthdays. I even wished a friend "Happy 19th" when he was 20 this year.

Ultimate.

DISTANCE

What determines familiarity and distance? Is it time, or is it our state of mind? Do we not feel the same way about familiar childhood memories, just because we are way past that time? No. So why should anything else be the same. But time is relative. And I am having a problem accepting the relativity.

I have not been sad for a long time but right now, I am sad. Sad, frustrated, pent up, and more than anything, hurt. It may or may not be the truth. And I probably need to learn to listen to my own advice that people mean different things at different times. But once again, I am having an extremely hard time coming to terms with that.

I feel that things are never a problem until someone decides to acknowledge it as one. Because before that, everything is just a phase, a state of being, but never a problem. Problems suck. So no problemo = good times. Go along with the conservative's take on the economy that let the economy be, and it will work itself out. But the economy doesn't have wild thoughts going off in just about every other direction and feelings, does it. So maybe the conservatives' theory is losing its mojo here.

But the point is.

I am upset and am falling into the cycle of denial, doubt, guilt, anger, and then trying to pinpoint and figure things out with my overwhelming mind and heart which worsens things by a million. Repeat the cycle as many times as I need to get to the i-am-too-tired-to-care state and then forget about it entirely after that. Thanks to a masterclass, I am now at the repeating stage. Hahaha.

I just need one more cycle of trying to figure things out and nitpick fault out of myself before giving up entirely and leaving it to the universe to let things fall into their place.

If it's meant to be, it's meant to be. And like what someone told me, if the person means that much to you, all these feelings wouldn't matter in the end and things will work themselves out. Things will find the reset button and make everything okay. And if it doesn't, I'll just deal with it when the time comes.

I hope the conservatives will be right about this.

And this would be the last I speak of it because it saddens me and shortens my state of mind to that of a 3 year old. Hungry, sad, even sadder, mighty wailing, tired, repeat infinitely. So yes. I promise ze one who's going to see this. Trying not to think too much about things and just let it be and...and not speaking about it after I get things off my chest would be the first step in the right direction.

Since sad = no bueno for The Secret, I will end a sad day after another 17 hours allowance of moping and wallowing in my sad emotions time. Prom prom.

xxxxxxxxxx

posted from Bloggeroid

TEACUP

I've always wanted a pet but the commitment behind it is always an instant deterrent.

Actually, no. It's just the cleaning up their shit part that is stopping my reckless self from abducting 1 of the 36 cats under my block and naming it Bob and bringing it for walks and cuddle the heck out of it.

That to me is just a major turnoff. Although cats use sandboxes for the most part, they are still a pretty sizeable animal so their junk would be pretty sizeable as well. And everyone knows that there is a direct correlation between sizeability and grossness of junk + how bad it smells. Truth from a personal experience 10 years ago.

My teachers thought it would be "educational" and "fun" to bring the entire cohort out to visit the zoo. For the most part it sucked because A) I never got picked  to go up the stage and interact with the dolphins or monkeys (CONSPIRACY) and B).... Before I continue. Remember the correlation equation? Okay, good. I saw a rhino and an elephant taking a dump right before my eyes.

BAM.

No, it was more like chocolate oatmeal being shot out of a canon. So BLEURGGGHHHHHSSSQQQ.
Except that it didn't smell chocolaty or oatmeal-ly at all, which is why that image is forever seared into my mind. I also think that my child inquisitiveness ended right there and then. There are certain things in life that you just don't need to know.

So back onto the topic of pets. My ideal pet was still a cat because I am slightly afraid of dogs and pets that are too small. Until I saw a video of a teacup pig.

I first saw a teacup pig in an episode of HIMYM when Marshall was using Barney's teacup pig to toughen up Lily's determination in rejecting Scooter's advances.

Project be strong enough to reject Scooter

Never thought much about it until I saw a video of a teacup pig overcoming it's fear of stairs in order to get to it's snack.



OMFG IT IS SO CUTE I CAN'T EVEN

How can something be so tiny and tastes so good  look so adorable????

And the video of Hamlet the teacup pig going down the stairs. It compels me to open my windows and scream "It's so adorable I want to die!!!!" at 5 in the morning.

Teacup pigs are defo first on my list of pet choices now.

Now I just need to find a way around eating bacon/ba gwa/vinegar pork trotters/pork belly/fried pork lard around them and not feeling guilty and I'm all set to be a proud owner of a teacup pig.