Ruffled mind, restless pillow

I just did something i shouldnt have done and the feeling is just. I dont know what to say. For a moment i thought things were different, you were back to the old you and like things are just the way they are meant to be. But no after like 10 secs which felt like eternity and when i really thought you were back to yourself, i realised that my com was lagging. It didnt load the newest updates down so what i saw wasnt current afterall. Like, my heart just sank. There's nothing more for you left and all memories are pretty much forgotten. But i still get bothered. Why?