JJ LIN

Just finished watching Eastern Promises, a 2007 film (very dope, although I wished that it was 30 minutes longer) about the lesser known but much more fearsome Russian Mafia.

Which then led me to sit through a 90-minute long documentary called Thieves by Law, or Vory V Zakone in Russian. The documentary isn't all that revealing about the history and background of the Russian Mafia and how they run their operations, but it does give you a slight peek into the psyche of some of the mobsters.

But this isn't the point of the post.

At the 27-minute mark of the documentary, the video cuts to show a man named Edik, who happens to be one of Vitaly Dymochka's henchman. Side note, Dymochka is a Russian mobster and crime boss...as well as a writer/director/producer of a short TV series called Spets. The TV show was created out of Vitaly's displeasure towards how organized crime was portrayed on television, so he shelled out money from his own pocket to shoot a seven part series which aims to educate viewers about the reality of the Russian underworld.

Good to know that someone is finally doing something to raise awareness about the misrepresentation of Russian mobsters in today's film and television

But back to Edik the henchman. 27 minutes in, the documentary shows Edik eating some soup, and then his phone rings. And then my jaw pretty much fell to the fucking ground. Because some henchman living in Ussuriysk, Russia, which by the way, is 8922km away from Moscow, has JJ Lin's 曹操 as his fucking ringtone. I'm not motivated enough to google the lyrics to the song, but I'm pretty sure the chorus goes something like "blah blah blah blah, 分三国, blah blah blah blah blah blaaaah blaaah". Each blah corresponds with what I remember the lyrics to be like, because I'll have you know that I was quite the JJ Lin fan back when I was 15. But I digress.

By the close to impossible chance that JJ Lin is reading this, I would like to say the following to him.

Dear JJ, I would like you to know that the multitude of musical accolades you have sitting at home mean nothing. The plentiful nominations and long ass articles published, all of which sings the praises of your musical talents mean nothing. Even the time when you finally got your way and acted all cutesy on stage with Hebe on a swing with a cup of tau huey zui means nothing.

Click on the documentary, fast forward it to the 27-minute mark, and savour the moment. Save the video, screen cap the moment, frame it, and bask in what would be your eternal glory. This is your one true defining moment. If there was any doubt or hesitation that you or anyone might have towards your musical success, just remind yourself that somewhere out there, a Russian henchman is rocking out to your song before bashing someone's kneecaps in with a baseball bat.

You've made it dude. You really have.

That is, unless the FSB has 舞娘 blasting through their offices la. Hahahahaha.