DREAD

Where my fitness level is currently at: Sweating buckets upon buckets (it's really gross to be honest) after a 25 minute cardio session which I struggled to finish, only to contemplate ordering KFC and trying out their new bandito pocket flavours because my stomach is empty. I'll probably force myself to be satisfied with an apple after I shower, but god damn do I really want to have fried chicken right now.

Where my memory level is currently at:
Not remembering what app I have on my home screen. I must have somehow deleted it whilst snoozing the gabillion alarms that I have set in the morning, but I really cannot recall what damn app it was. It must have been an app that I used often...I think? I really have no clue, so my homescreen has just got to deal with an empty corner for the time being.

Where my energy to take on the new week is currently at:
................nowhere to be found. I just want to bury myself in the sheets, have someone pet my hair and then tell me that the weekends are extended to Wednesday.

PMS

18th March, 2015
Inside Orchard Central's toilet right now and Fall Out Boy's music isn't doing much except impede my bowel movements. Goddammit.

25th March, 2015
So...apparently my bowel movements were slowed down by Fall Out Boy a week ago.

('bout a week agooo week agooo)

Today has been an entire day of lethargy and irritability, coupled with having 1 salted caramel krispy kreme after lunch and then shamelessly muching on seaweed potato chips and strawberry cheesecake ice cream right now.

Has there ever been a clearer indication of PMS?

I'm for sure going to regret my dietary (or lack of) choices the next day, but for right now...fuck it man.

Did I mention that I have been craving spaghetti and meatballs since forever? Seriously though. Browsing through Stefan Struve's twitter pictures are making me really hungry.

What is this post even about. All coherence is lost on me.

STAY SEVENTEEN

9th March

Someone please tell me that ranch sauce is some kind of miracle hair conditioner sent from the Gods of Condiments.

Because I cannot 

14th March

I have the above half-post sitting in my drafts folder for over 5 days before even remembering that I had typed that out in the first place. I think it's safe to say that "because I cannot" is a pretty creepy way to leave a sentence hanging.

But yes, throwback to 5 days ago when I tried to open a small plastic container of ranch which ended in a disaster because half of its contents landed on my hair, neck and dress. It's freshly washed hair too by the way, (all my long haired girls would feel me on this) so you could only imagine the exasperation I felt.

Ranch isn't even that great tasting to be honest.

But yes, I'm now in the train on my way home trying not to be overly conscious about the plaster I have wrapped around the monstrosity that is my big toenail. I had accidentally stubbed my toe against the cupboard a few weeks back while I still had nail polish on, only to remove it a few days later only to find out that half of it had already peaced out from the nail bed. I apologise for the graphic description but that's the second time in probably 3 years that this has happened to me and that is just unacceptable.

Toe nails flipping out on your nail beds should never be a thing.

Oh yes, back to my train ride. The guy sitting beside me earlier on had on a super nice smelling cologne and you best believe that I was taking extra inhalations before he alighted. It's not overly musky or overpowering (seriously A&F, you need to chill and take several seats with your scents), just really clean and fresh and manly at the same time. Dude smells really good is my point.

 Now...what else can I update this space with. 

How about songs that are playing on my ipod recently? In no particular order,

1. J.Cole, 2014 Forest Hills Drive

2. Maroon 5, V

3. Old school Fall Out Boy, specifically Infinity on High

4. The Weeknd, Kiss Land

5. Old school All Time Low, in preparation for their latest Future Hearts album

There is just something about music that you listened to when you were a teenager (so say...14-18?) that you never really give up on. Perhaps it's the mix of nostalgia that harks back to simpler times, or it's just whatever music you were listening to during your formative years, but for me it'll always be pop punk with a heavy emphasis on All Time Low. And I mean heavy with a capital H, because god only knows how many folders of pictures and illegally downloaded songs of them I had on my computer. 

.

.

.

Plus who am I kidding. My bluetooth name was "Meishan Gaskarth/Barakat/Merrick/Dawson" for the longest time leh. Lolol. So yes, I doubt I'll ever give up on listening to All Time Low. I remember coming across a Tumblr post a few days back that just said "STAY SEVENTEEEEEEEEN" and it just brought back an unprecedented ton of feels.

Stay seventeen, the party scene has got the best of me and you 

We've got to let this go

Drink up, last call before the sunrise sets the scene,

Of empty bottles, heavy hearts,

The memories of broken dreams

We were so tired, yet so alive

Wrapped up in lies like sheets of another one night stand,

You know you left the girl with nothing but the sunrise through the window panes,

Where tired eyes will close

Stay seventeen, the party scene has got the best of me and you 

We've got to let this go

 Has it really been 6 full years since I was seventeen? God damn.

TOAST

Sunday mornings, aka "how many pieces of toast and an obscene amount of jam can I stuff into my face before I fall into a deep carbohydrate slumber?". The answer is still pending at 2 because I was just browsing through UFC fighters' and their girlfriends' instagram accounts and it's making me second guess my toast binge.

I really, really love toast and jam. Well, mostly just jam if we're being honest because homegirl over here has an incredibly large sweet tooth.

Throwback to a company dinner last week where I had to share a plate with my colleague cause I was stuffed from a late lunch. And I use "share a plate" very loosely because we only had 2 sotong balls, 1 hashbrown and 2 mini cream puffs sitting on our plate.

Colleague: Eh who wants cake?
Me: I'm very full already eh..........but okay la I'll have a slice.

Colleague: I'm very full already leh.
Me: Me too.
.
.
. (spots uneaten slice of cake on the table)
.
.
But lemme just holla at that 2nd slice of cake real quick.

Apparently my stomach knows no cake limit. Or any limit when it comes to pastries or desserts or sweets or chocolate actually.

You know what? I'm just going to have some more toast and jam la.

LUMBER

Flipped through a magazine during breakfast toady and I came across the word "lumbersexual". You know how "metrosexual" is used to describe men who spend more time grooming themselves? Lumbersexuals are just metrosexuals with beards. Because somehow, having a beard is the only qualifying factor you need to become a lumberjack.

I just...can't. This has got to be one of the most stupid terms I've come across ever since "bae", which I initially thought was just a ghetto spelling of "babe" but it turns out to be an acronym for "before anything else".

That being said, I ain't mad at the at look though, because apparently being "lumbersexual" means looking like this:

(L-R: Charlie Hunnam (repping the entire Sons of Anarchy cast), Alexander Gustafsson, Conor McGregor)

So if  "lumbersexual" just means "hot men with beards" then...I'm down with whatever lame name social media is deeming this look as. Because how can a girl possibly stay mad at something that looks like that /inserts heart eyes emoji.

But let's move on to a different topic. 

Who caught UFC 184 this afternoon?

1. RONDA FUCKING ROUSEY.

14 seconds? 14 seconds to finish a fight?? God damn, to think that I thought that 16 seconds was already a beast of a timing when she had beaten Alexis Davis back in July. Ronda is just an absolute beast of a warrior. So who is left for the UFC to put against Ronda? Miesha Tate 3.0? Cat Zingano 2.0? I could not think of anyone who is even remotely close to being a considerable competitor for Ronda Rousey at this moment.

2. ELLENBERGER VS KOSCHECK'S NECK

Finally a win for Ellenberger! Definitely a much deserved win (and performance of the night) after coming off of 3 losses. Gotta give Koscheck his due props because he was already foaming at his mouth before even considering tapping out. We all know about Ellenberger's knockout power, so just imagine the same power (or more) being wrapped around your neck. No doubt that Josh Koscheck is going to have a rough few nights with his neck after today.

...and that's all I can remember from UFC 184.

By now you must be thinking, "Oh wow Meishan, you must be quite free today to be able to write this post ah!". But you are wrong. You are very wrong. I have promised my cousin to help him with his write up (aka turn his points into a full 500 words essay) and have brought home a ton of work to clear, but here I am, procrastinating it all by writing this damn post - including finding photos and making a collage of "lumbersexuals" - because I am really dreading doing anything remotely productive.

I just want to bury myself under my sheets and have someone tell me that my weekend is extended till Wednesday.