R/GAMBLE

So...shameless selfie time?

My house is getting painted right now, so everything that was anywhere is now everywhere and nowhere to be found at the same time. They are mostly sitting in plastic bags around my room though, together with the newly and temporarily appointed clean-laundry-holding-station that is my bed.

Which explains the awkward background. This is only available space in my room aka my sleeping area for the past few nights. Also featured in the photos is me with no internet connection this afternoon because everything is dismantled to make things easier to shift around.

I guess the timing is sort of apt too. The packing process in preparation for the painting could suffice for an early spring cleaning, given that I am extremely unenthused about anything that involves packing and order. Lol who am I kidding, this is definitely going to be my spring cleaning effort. I just have to (hopefully) maintain it for another 3 weeks.

Speaking of weeks, the second week of 2014 is almost over. Wtf? There must be some kind of time sucking vortex somewhere. And a specific button which erases my memory drive sporadically, which would explain me being extra forgetful recently. This is the part where I start to list my recent examples of my forgetfulness...but...I have already forgotten them, hahaha. Oh wait! There's one. I realised only at midday today that I've forgotten to put on mascara, even though I've remembered to curl my lashes. Like what's even the point then. Oh! Another one. I almost lost a $60 value EZ link card (today, again -_-) by just holding it in my hands. It was the only thing I had in my hands and I actually forgot to hold onto it when I stood up to alight the bus. How does that even happen? 

Hmmm...okay what else. I vaguely remember wanting to blog about something else aside from my failing memory.......................Okay got it. 

Remember that disenchanted post a few posts back? Sigh, see, this is precisely the damn problem. When things are going good and I feel fine, everything feels...good. The normal, default kind of good that I feel everyday. Then things are good for awhile. Routines and attachments form, feelings of familiarity start to develop...and all these things will only intensify until they decide to act like enzymes. Past the optimal duration for goodness, things start dissociating and unraveling, and then the disenchantment kicks in. Then the big proclamation to self. Why is there a limit for good things anyway? Or is the limit established because of unfulfilled expectations? But given enough time after the big proclamation, I'd be back to my baseline of feeling normal-good, and me at normal-good recognises no harm in taking the same risk as before. Which is precisely where I am at right now. I cannot commit to my proclamation because I cannot bear to walk away from the notion built on hyped up hopes and illusion. What does it take for that to happen and do I want it to happen?

The entire paragraph has all too many unanswered and unanswerable questions altogether. HAIYA. I cannot be bothered to think about it anymore so let's just leave it at that for now.

 It's past 4am now and I have class at 12pm tomorrow and I have yet to remove my contact lenses so...that's all for now.